AUSTIN -- Filthy, funny and freaky, Christeene (a.k.a Paul Soileau, a.k.a. Rebecca Havemeyer) absolutely killed it at last night's "Solider of Pleasure" EP-release gig at Elysium.
To the garage thumping beats of her new single, "Slowly/Easy," Christeene made a brilliant entrance, carried by her "backup boyz," T-Gravel and C-Baby.
After depositing her on a stage decorated with stained diapers and a fecal-smeared high chair, Chriteene's dancers promptly "urinated" on her.
When she finally stood up, soaking wet, Christeene sang wearing a flappy face-mask right out of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
And immediately, she had the near-capacity crowd in the palms of her disgusting hands.
Amid the crude, nightmarish costumes and hilarious vulgarity was the polish of a superstar: The balance of lights and sound were totally on pointe -- and the onstage energy was electrifying.
Weaving snippets of Anita Bryant-sounding dialogue about rigid gender edicts concerning proper hair length for boys and girls, Christeene's onstage DJ "Jay-Jay" ramped up the assaulting beats of "Fix My Dick."
From there, it was all rear-end floor humping. At one point, Christeene brilliantly fused her vocal performance with anilingus.
When she caught her breath, Christeene delivered a 10-minute baby-voiced monologue: First, informing the audience that she almost swallowed her gold tooth.
Since the evening was a special night, Christeene decided to have a glass of tea — like all the other divas she's seen on television. And then she apologized to the audience, because "Sometimes, I get the clown in my pussy," and started spitting her tea on her appreciative fans.
She gleefully explained, "Dat I only do dat because I love you" -- sounding like a drunk, ghetto-dwelling Carol Channing.
While singing the gorgeous lullaby, "Oprah's Angles," an eight-piece mini-orchestra in black-tie began setting up their instruments and music stands.
Looking at the puny Elysium stage and noticing how horribly cold it was inside the jam-packed club, I thought to myself, "With all those classical instruments, they'll never get it to sound right."
I was wrong.
When Christeene's accompanists launched into "Tears from My Pussy," it was so perfect, Bjork would have seethed with jealousy.
For her encore, Christeene performed "African Mayonnaise," proclaiming that she's America's new celebrity. That might not be far-fetched ... at all.
2 comments:
Thanks for the insightful reportage of the magnificent, malevolent mystery that is Christeene. Only problem is--the more I learn, the more I neeed to know!!! Paul Soileau's work definitely gets under ones skin.
I saw Christeene perform at SXSW and was in awe! I hope that she's able to gain a bigger following. She's raw, out there, and is the performance artist of the moment IMHO. :)
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